It’s not easy to be me

Cmon Demi. There are more things to life, seriously move on. I know, nothing i do can rewind the time and i think i tried too hard. Its okay, just live on, i have more stuffs to complete before i can even thing of love. I have two kinds of love to worry at the same time, both are not good, not good at all. One, i have no choice but to let go becos its useless, i dont stand a place in your heart already, i dont know how i can fall for you, but i guess its not my fate. I guess its just infatuation, to think you were nice but unfortunately you just left me like this. And i dont wanna see you, but i got to. I am trying to avoid you, i know there is no possibilities for us. I should forget. I must forget. I need to move on with my work and stop thinking of you. Second, I used to love you, until you let me down so many times. I love you, i really miss you. But its time i should go when i know i dont feel happy with you. You were great, but most of the time you werent. I love you when you were nice, you realise your mistakes. But i hate it when you go back to the worst. Its not the first time. You know it. I thank you for trying to change for my sake, its not easy being someone you arent. Now, i still miss you. But it's too late. I wish i had the power to bring myself back to the first time i met you. I hate my life. I am trying to go on with work.. trying to forget you and you by going out but now projects are refraining me from going out to free my mind. I seriously need someone, someone who is there to listen, love, help me forget the past. I may sound like somewhat desperate, i am okay? This is fucking depressing and i need to get these out of my mind now.

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all